Why Some People Should Just Not Indulge in Masturbation

With May being National Masturbation Month, it’s only right to have a dedicated post. Masturbation is healthy. It’s a way to relieve sexual tension and it’s also how the body ejects some of its waste products. But there are some people who compromise this healthy action. There are some people who should just stop.

First of all, all of these stories will consist of men as a study published in Archives of Pediatrics and Adolescent Medicine discovered that teenage boys masturbate more than teenage girls. This is not designed to reveal anything particularly new, but they may be stories which you have never heard about before.

Broken Limb

Yes, somebody actually managed to break their third leg. It wasn’t through some exotic sexual manoeuvre – although I imagine that he will be telling his friends it was – it was through his own doing.

The guy who managed to break his penis, a Nigerian case report revealed, was actually twisting his penis towards himself with his right hand. It was sexually stimulating for himself, but the problem is that he heard a click and then felt lots of pain. But the good thing is that he could still have an erection after surgery, so all was not lost.

But this is actually a common way of masturbation and this very rarely has an impact on whether someone fractures their penis or not. Some people are more prone to fractures than others, but conventional techniques will rarely, if ever, have any detrimental effect.

Hitting it With a Foreign Object

The urethra is the place your urine comes out of. It rarely plays much of a part whilst sexually stimulating oneself through masturbation, but when you bring it into the equation it can have painful and humiliating outcomes.

One such incident occurred in Japan where a 40-year old man managed to stick a 55-inch tube into there for the purposes of masturbation. Eventually, he had to have it surgically removed due to the fact that it was causing bladder problems.

But this is the sort of thing that happens all around world; another individual stuck a copper wire up there, which inevitably led to it becoming entangled in his bladder. The point is that this is just something that should be avoided at all costs, no matter how sexually stimulating it may or may not be.

Suicide by Masturbation

Some people enjoy being strangled during sex. Don’t judge them, it might seem weird to you, but to them it’s completely normal.

On the other hand, some people take this too far, and one man certainly did as he managed to kill himself through this practice. Autoerotic asphyxiation is where the individual chokes themselves during sex or masturbation to deprive the brain of oxygen. People say that this dramatically increases the amount of pleasure felt during the ejaculation period. And it may well do. But it also puts your life at risk.

David Carradine is an actor who is believed to have died in this way as when the police found him he had a rope around both his neck and genitals. Now either he really annoyed somebody or he was hitting it pretty good that day. Although for an actor you would have thought that he would have no problem having sex with a real human being.

eternity in hell

Hey, Fatty, Are You Going to Be Having Kids?

Scientists have discovered that it’s not just the excessive rolls of fat that mean fat people are less likely to find a woman to have kids with. Rather, it’s the saturated fat in food which is leading to lower sperm counts amongst men.

fat guy

The Harvard Medical School in Boston carried out the experiment under the stewardship of Professor Jill Attaman. The study asked 99 men questions about their diet and analysed their sperm samples over four years.The results of the study showed that of the 99 men in the study, those with the highest fat intake had 43% less sperm than normal at the end of the study. And even more bad news showed that at the end of the study the concentration of the sperm, measured via number of sperm per unit volume of semen, was down by 38%.

The study, reported in the scientific journal Human Reproduction, revealed these results, but everyone involved in the study is saying that more research needs to be done before any conclusions can be made.The men who ate the most omega-3-rich foods had a conventional structure when it came to the shape of the sperm, but the important thing to take into account was that 71% of the 99 men were already overweight or obese anyway. So this could have had an impact on the sperm even before the study had begun.But like with many of these studies which seem to be appearing at the moment, they all seem to have used very small research groups. Is it because they couldn’t find more people to masturbate into a jar every so often for the next four years? If this is the case then they should either be promoting their cause more or paying their volunteers because 99 men where 71% are already obese is not a study that can be taken very seriously.If the study was designed to discover whether high levels of saturated fat caused a reduction of sperm in men or not then surely they should have used people who lived on relatively healthy diets. This would show comprehensively whether it reduced the number of sperm or not. But if they also wanted to know how much it was reduced by then they should have used an equal number of healthy and unhealthy people when it came to the study.

As for this writer’s own personal study on whether people who eat more saturated fat (by implication, fat people) will have a lower chance of conceiving a child or not then a conclusion has been found. To conceive a child you need a woman, and everybody knows that fat guys generally do finish last in this category.All I need is the warm, fatty embrace of these sausagey buns.

So science may not have discovered whether high levels of saturated fat actually do cause a reduction in the amount of sperm yet, but this writer’s study has definitely brought up some comprehensive results.