Interview with Deborah French

//
//
Deborah French is the author of A Brief Moment in Time, a memoir chronicling her experience of raising two children with special needs. A review of the book can be found here, and the link to it on Amazon can be found at the end of this interview.

How did the start of the book come about? Did you decide it was time to tell your story, or did someone else prompt you?

I introduced myself to ASD Publishing in a submissions email for my children’s book.  I received an almost immediate response asking me to consider writing down my personal journey and sending a manuscript back to them for consideration.  I remember reading the email with a quizzical brow thinking ‘Seriously, could I do this?’  I have always loved writing and had dreams of becoming an author as a teenager, so I asked my husband for the laptop, sat down and wrote Chapter 1, The Moment.  And that was it.

The book is such a beautiful insight into your life and covers truly sensitive issues that I found I needed to read it slowly; digesting the information and reality of the situation as I went. Did you find it very difficult to write, retracing each moment and did you have to take it slowly?

The first three chapters were written within a few hours. I was surprised at the speed at which I was able to retrace my steps because up until that point, of course I had recalled the emotional trauma of birth but had yet to take that journey so intimately again. I was also aware that as I was reliving those first few days, I was about to share my story and my most shameful feelings with the world, that fact was overwhelming and frightening. Once I had I passed the first hurdle however and I was able to re read the first chapters without sobbing, everything flowed very smoothly from then on. Those moments of my life had been bottled up for a long time; once I began to write I couldn’t stop.

You’ve constructed a very natural narrative, following your life chronologically. Did you sit down and simply let the story flow, or did you plan out how you would write it?

Once I had made the decision to write my story I felt the only appropriate place to start was from the day I walked into the hospital to give birth to Amariah. From then on I didn’t plan to tell my story chronologically, it just worked out that way because I was able to explain my emotional development more accurately through each experience.

Your writing is very honest and really helps the reader to connect with your experiences, but was there anything that you wanted to include and couldn’t because of time or space constraints?

I could have certainly continued on but as you have described it takes some time to digest the information and the reality of the situation. It was important to find the right balance. I didn’t want to overwhelm the reader, I wanted to make sure that by the end of the book they could connect with the sense of happiness and contentment that we feel despite our circumstance. This was an important point for me to drive home.
I was surprised by the move to Israel and very interested to learn about the help that is available there.

What prompted this move? Primarly we moved because we were advised to live in a hotter climate for sake of Amariah’s health. During those early years she was plagued with chest, throat and sinus infections and the warmer climate has certainly helped with that. Secondly and most importantly, the facilities available to those with special needs is incredible. Amariah is only seen by a paediatrician during routine doctor visits through the regular health service. There are countless nurseries and schools for children with a range of special needs, both separate and integrated into the mainstream system. Therapies and after school programmes are readily available with free transportation from the council to and from our door step. There is also considerable emphasis on supported living and employment opportunities for adults with special needs, which is a consideration for all parents. The question of ‘what’s next?’ still keeps me up at night but I take comfort knowing that we are living in a society that thrives on how it cares for those less fortunate.

Throughout the book your focus is always on the children and their progression, but marriages have fallen through with much less pressure. How did you maintain your relationship and social life through it all?

My husband has an uncanny way of making me laugh, especially when I’m crying. He has often said that ‘If we don’t laugh about it then we will go nuts.’ And I agree with him. The challenges that we have faced have also never created an issue between us, our task has been to work on how we handle our own emotional pain and support each other in the way we both need.
As far as our social life goes, we enjoy as much private time as we do socialising with friends and family. We regard our social time as ‘taking a break’. Sometimes it’s hard to switch off from reality but there will always be something to worry about and time out is good for everyone.

Has the book and subsequent publicity had any effect on the school life of Henry and Amariah, such as raised awareness from friends or negative effects?

From the feedback that I have received so far, including your own review, I can see the effect my story will have on raising awareness. I have always said that ignorance breads fear which in turn breads intolerance and predjuidice. The more informed people are about children and adults with special needs the less they will fear them and the more society will accept those with disabilities. I hope that in some way my story will inspire more integration at a grass roots level between families, friends, teachers and their pupils. As far as Henry and Amariah are concerned, A Brief Moment in Time is merely an extension of these efforts, we work tirelessly everyday to inform those around them to ease their integration. It’s a working progress.

You keep busy with raising awareness for special needs and having activities for special needs children. Do you have any hobbies outside of that part of your life?

I love to cook.  I have enjoyed hosting and entertaining our family and friends as well as running cookery demonstrations for adults and lessons for children.  I believe that cooking is a life skill that all children should be taught from a young age.  I have also run courses for children with special needs and have seen the improvements in their concentration and coordination whilst working towards the finished dish.
Apart from this I love to spend time with my husband and children relaxing and having fun experiences.  We try to take time off from our hectic lives even for a short time just to get away and spend the day together. This is a very important part of my life.

How has the reaction to your book been so far, and has it differed from your expectations?

I anticipated that it would have an impact of some sort because birth is an experience anticipated by all and experienced by most and there is always a sense of fear that everything may not go according to plan.  Even if the reader doesn’t have a child with a disability they will be automatically transported back to their own experience during the read and will connect with my experience.
In saying that, I could not have hoped for the response that I have received.  I haven’t made so many people cry in such a short time in my life!  It has been so wonderful to hear that our story has touched the hearts of so many people and, what’s more, I have been so delighted to hear that other mothers in similar situations have headed to my advice and reaped results with their children.  I could not have hoped for more.

Do you have any plans for a follow-up to A Brief Moment in Time, telling readers what the experience is like as the children have got older, or how things are changing in a broader perspective for the special needs community?

I wouldn’t rule that out.  I am currently developing other projects to help raise awareness through my writing for children with special needs and I have also completed a picture book to help prepare children on the autistic spectrum for their first day of school.  So there are lots of directions to follow.  I like to take one step at a time.

 

A Brief Moment In Time by Deborah French: Book Review

Reviewing a memoir is quite different from reviewing fiction. Instead of looking for narrative structure and memorable characters you are looking for genuine sentiment and an insight into the world of the writer. Suffice to say I was only a few pages into A Brief Moment In Time before I broke into tears and had to put it down. ‘This will have to be read in stages,’ I told myself, and I was right. Deborah French’s story is 100% honest from the word go, but it is not an easy journey. I can only imagine how difficult it must have been to write because it’s quite an experience to read.
The book opens with the birth of Deborah’s second child, Amariah and you are instantly transported into the mind of Deborah as she experiences the diagnosis of Down’s Syndrome. From that life-changing moment we are taken through her life chronologically as she learns to deal with the diagnosis and other people’s reactions. True to life’s unfair nature, just as Deborah and her husband Johnny are adjusting to life, they learn that Henry, their first son, has Autistic Spectrum Disorder. The book follows the couple as they struggle through the schooling system, the lack of information available and a move to Israel.
Although attitudes to special needs children are significantly more understanding than they used to be, A Brief Moment In Time highlights the fact that there is still a stigma, a lack of understanding and ultimately a certain amount of ignorance concerning these issues. It is Deborah’s honesty that truly allows the reader to understand life from both the children’s point of view and the parents’. Her humility allows the reader to empathise with her situation, understanding her actions and reactions.
Although my reading experience of this book started with tears of sadness, as it continued the tears quickly turned into ones of happiness. No one can know how they would react to a similar situation in their own life, but I only hope that I would be as strong, methodical and tenacious as Deborah. Instead of spending her time fretting over other people’s reactions to her children, she researched their conditions, the help available and learned how she could assist them to live happily in this world. She writes about how casting aside denial was one of the key parts of making progress, allowing her to see the world from Henry’s point of view and ultimately reach out to him in a way that no-one else could.
The book itself is well written, thoughtfully structured and a wonderful example of what life is really like with twins and two special needs children. It would be an extremely helpful guide to anyone facing a similar future, but overall it is an insightful look into the reality of special needs children and will hopefully help to educate people in the future. Deborah, Amariah and Henry teach us that the label ‘special needs’ is there to ensure these children receive the care essential to their progression and happiness, not to separate them from what is considered ‘normal’.

Kent Airport Development Causes Concern

The proposal to expand a small Kent airport into a “regional hub”, which has just been approved by the government, has caused great concern for environmental campaigners.

LyddAirport in Romney Marsh has now been granted permission to expand its runway and to build a new terminal building, and about half a million more passengers could potentially be accommodated by this new development. However, although there is a prevailing optimism about the new airport, as it would certainly give the area a higher profile, there is growing anger that the local area – where there is an abundance of wildlife – will be endangered by the encroachment of a much bigger airport. For many species, the “Garden of England” is a natural refuge.

Green Party MEP, Keith Taylor, has commented on the new development, saying that there are “huge concerns about the impact these proposals would have in terms of the increase in pollution for local residents and the threat to important wildlife.”

This development has emerged amid worldwide concerns that the progression of low-carbon energy is not happening quickly enough to offset global warming. The International Energy Agency has reported that there has only been a 25% growth in non-fossil fuel generation, compared to 45% of fossil fuel generation.

New developments that would help offset the still-excessive CO2 emissions, such as carbon capture and storage, while still being developed and built, are simply not appearing fast enough to counteract the growing worldwide damage.

While countries such as the US are pioneering ways to generate environmentally friendly energy (such as shale gas technology), the majority of Europe is still, allegedly, falling far short of targets which need to be met to see a maximum rise in global temperature of 2 degrees celsius by the end of the century.

The new airport development at Romney Marsh will certainly be an economic asset for the region, and will create much-needed jobs, however it is important that it tries to remain environmentally responsible, so that it can help the region to uphold the reputation of being an ecological haven.

Modern Book Review: The Year of Open Doors (2011)

The Year of Open Doors (2011) is an anthology of modern Scottish writing, with the input of writers from various social and cultural backgrounds, all of who make up the nation that Scotland is becoming. Each story offers a personal glimpse into the life of a modern Scottish person, although since there are so many stories, I will highlight some in particular which stand out in a unique way.

The anthology begins with a story with an open door “theme” built in – “One Year The Door Will Open” by Ryan Van Winkle – in which the narrator compares himself to a door, with which he has certain things in common. The door, he says, is painted and repainted constantly throughout its “life”, in ways that often reflect the mood of the people dwelling within, such as “argument red, family yellow, divorce brown”.

In “Omu Prin & Me” by Daibhidh Martin, a young man visiting a remote area of Scotland encounters an older man with a tragedy in his past, his wife having been swept away by a rip-tide, but who still manages to find joy in life (“I was enchanted, watching a sixty-year-old man dance so carefree. The older man has tried to come to terms with it by building a gate from pieces of debris he has found washed up on the shore – a poignant symbol of trying to bring back the spirit of his wife, and also a reflection of how things from far away places can eventually find their way to one’s home.

“Playground Rules” by Doug Johnstone (who has already become a prolific writer in Scotland) is another story tainted by tragedy; a young father takes his son to his first day at school, while coming to terms with causing the death of his wife in a car accident shortly after the son was born. Until this point he and his son had been coping, as he says that “We were in our own unburstable bubble back then”, before this day. Before long, the harsh re-integration into “society” proves too much for the father, as he realises that he can no longer shield his son from “real life”.

A clash of cultures is portrayed to provocative effect in “Colin’s Nation” by Anneliese Mackintosh, in which a white Scottish mother routinely takes her daughter to be looked after by Indian immigrants after school, with the father of the family repaying the girl’s parents with samples of their national cuisine. This time, the mother invites the Indian family over in a gesture of hospitality, only to make the faux-pas of preparing an elaborate feast for them during Ramadan. Some underlying tensions, however, emerge during the interaction between the young girl and the family’s young boy, who end up – during their innocent play – bringing up their ancestors’ shared history. Most tellingly, the topic of “Colin’s Nation” (meaning “colonisation”) serves to draw a sharp divide between children, who might have gotten along perfectly fine otherwise.

The last story in the anthology, “A Snake Drinks Water And Makes Poison, A Cow Drinks Water And Makes Milk”, by Kevin MacNeil, is a heavily impacting account of a Scot on holiday in Indonesia; incidentally, in the area which would be worst affected by the 2004 tsunami which swept right across the areas in the Indian Ocean.

This story reveals how people from any social or cultural background can find themselves in a life-or-death situation in a strange country, and the use of powerful language -“Write injuries in sand… kindnesses in marble” – shows that superficial differences between nationalities are just that, and similarities are far more common.

There are many more stories in this anthology; some from unknown writers, others from more established authors, but all of them show promise, in that if this anthology, collectively, reflects an ever-evolving nation, then it is quite certain that there will be more thought-provoking new writing to come.

Changes to the law on dangerous dogs

Amidst news of the death of Margaret Thatcher, the death of the young girl Jade Anderson, who was mauled to death by dogs when she went to a house to visit a friend, was largely overlooked. Yet this story is of great significance when it comes to light that no crime was committed and so there will be no consequences for the owners of the dogs.

The problem with the current law

The Dangerous Dogs Act was introduced in 1991 and attempted to set out what a ‘dangerous dog’ is, as well as allow for the prosecution of owners, or people in charge, of the dog if the animal were to attack somebody.  The law has come under heavy criticism for not wholly achieving this aim.

Certain types of dogs were made illegal to own: Pit Bull Terrier, Japanese Tosa, Dogo Argentino and Fila Braziliero. However, the legislation recognises that it is not so much the name or breed of the dog but its temperament that makes it dangerous. Therefore, it is the characteristics of the dog and whether it resembles any of the four types of banned breeds that will determine whether it is dangerous or not. If any breed of dog were to demonstrate violent tendencies then the courts may insist on its destruction; however, owners may also request that the dog be exempt. It was also made illegal to breed any dog for the purpose of fighting.

The legislation also makes it an offence for a dog to be out of control in a public place or a non-public place if the dog is not permitted to be there. This would include any person’s house who had not given their permission for the dog to be there. ‘Out of control’ is not specifically defined in the Act but references to injuring a person or there being reasonable belief that a dog may injure someone are made. It has therefore been interpreted that ‘out of control’ means either that the dog has attacked or attempted to attack a person.

This arguably leaves a huge gap in the legislation, namely the situation where a dog has not been categorised as dangerous but nonetheless attacks somebody on the property on which it is housed. This is the unfortunate situation Jade Anderson found herself in. She was attacked by dogs at a house she went to visit where the dogs were permitted to be.

For this reason no actual offence has taken place and so the police are not looking to make an arrests as they are bound by this wholly inadequate piece of legislation.

Does the law need reform?

There are hundreds of thousands of dog attacks in Britain every year and many of these will take place in areas where the dogs are permitted to be and so will not be covered by the legislation. Thankfully the majority of cases will be minor, however, when there are no consequences for the owners when a person is killed by dogs there is a deep injustice in the system. This feeling has been reflected by an e-petition entitled ‘Justice for Jade’, which has received over 9,000 signatures.

Whilst the law is arguably fairly adequate for classifying dangerous dogs and prosecuting owners of dogs out of control in public places, there is a strong argument that any dog in the right (or rather wrong) circumstances could be dangerous, whether it has demonstrated characteristics of the four types of banned breeds or not. Allowing people to have potentially out of control dogs on their premises not only puts themselves and their families and friends at risk but also unsuspecting people who are required to visit the property – the postman/woman, a delivery driver, gas or electric meter reader. There are numerous people who are legally allowed access to private property and the law should protect these people. Of course, changing the law so that owners can be prosecuted will not stop people having out of control dogs on their property, however it may make some people reconsider whether their dog is safe to own if they are aware that they face prosecution of a fine or imprisonment.

What is the government proposing?

The Government has been proactive since the death of Jade Anderson and has published draft proposals for new legislation. These proposals allow for owners to be prosecuted if their dog attacks somebody on private property, whether it be their own or someone else’s. The requirement that the dog is not allowed to be in the area has been removed, which should, in theory, close the loophole. The consequence of a conviction under this new law would be a maximum of two years’ imprisonment and/or an unlimited fine.

What about trespassers or burglars?

At this stage the new law will still not cover situations in which burglars or other trespassers are attacked. The debate surrounding this issue is still ongoing as many believe that people should have the right to protect themselves and their property, using dogs a guard if they wish. Others believe that if a person trespasses or commits an offence they should still be owed the same duty of care to be protected from dangers such as dogs. It will be interesting to see whether this part of the legislation changes on its way through the process or whether it will remain that burglars and trespassers are not protected.

The proposed reforms appear to keep the satisfactory parts of the law – any dog may still be regarded as dangerous, regardless of breed, if it demonstrates the correct characteristics.  It also appears to rectify the unsatisfactory law currently in place by closing the major loophole was left open by the previous law. However, there is no timetable for when this new legislation may appear on the statute books. Hopefully this draft proposal will not merely be a reaction to the tragic death of a young girl and will be taken through the stages as quickly as possible so that people can be brought to justice and workers who are required to enter private property can feel safer in their work.