What if You Had Six Legs?

We may have wondered at some point in our lives exactly what life would be like if we had six arms, eight legs, or even wings, but did you know that for some people it actually happens? The only problem is that it also damages one’s health and can even kill.

This did happen this month as a baby in Pakistan was born with six legs. Yes, it might make sure that the kid will be an awesome dancer, but it has left him fighting for his life. For obvious reasons, the baby is in danger because the added limbs put more pressure on the baby’s systems.

But why has this happened, and where do the legs come from? It has been caused by a rare genetic disease which affects one in a million, and the legs actually belong to another baby. The child’s six legs come from a conjoined twin that didn’t fully develop inside the womb.

Jamal Raza, director of the National Institute of Child Health in Karachi, said that while they plan to operate to remove the extra limbs, “Operating on such a baby is not an easy task as proper assessments need to be done first. We need to figure out whether the baby has his twin’s limbs or his own. We also need to consider how much the internal organs have developed as the latter could complicate matters and decrease the baby’s chances of surviving.”

Although the result of a rare birth defect, a potentially important point has been left out.

Many news sites are failing to mention that the parents are actually cousins. We have all heard the jokes about added limbs and webbed fingers on children who were the products of incest, but this just proves how true it could possibly be. Although there is no concrete evidence that incest was to blame here, and cousins are not so closely related as siblings, many people will be assuming that it has to have played its part as incest does increase the likelihood of suffering from these issues. My opinion? If you get the urge to give incest a go, take the words of the Lord’s Prayer literally: “Lead us not into temptation.”

As of writing, the child still lives but doctors are unsure if a solution can be found in time. But regardless of whether the main cause was incest or not, surely this raises more important questions, such as why is incest approved in some places?

Troops Enhance Their Vision

If any of you have ever played a game like EVE where you can input lots of augmentations into your character to give them special skills then this story will remind you of that. Reports have revealed that the Pentagon has put in a large order of prototype contact lenses for America’s troops.

Contact lens

These contact lenses are supposedly going to enhance the wearer’s field of vision. Furthermore, they are supposed to be worn with compact head-up (HUD) glasses which allow images to be projected on to them.

Now it sounds like we are firmly in the middle of a video game as next we should be expecting to have a health bar on these glasses. But basically the whole setup is designed to increase troop awareness on the battlefield.

As for the lenses themselves, why are they so different? The answer is that unlike conventional lenses they allow the wearer to focus on more than one thing at once due to the specially attached inner and outer filters.

This will allow troops to focus on the images projected on to the glasses and on objects in the distance, so they won’t be desperately dodging bullets whilst trying to read what some distant geek is writing on their glasses. In short, if you are wearing them then you can do things humans can’t usually do.

The glasses may even be able to be sold to the public in the future, according to the Chief Executive of Innovega Steve Willey. Although, doesn’t that kind of reduce the potency of these glasses when it comes to the military if anyone can just go down to Currys and buy them?

Stormtrooper
George Lucas was right all along!

But anyway, apparently these devices will be available to the general public by 2014. Expect the games industry to take full advantage of this, as well as the film industry which could use something original and interesting; and 3D is not original or interesting.

However, the issue is that this could apparently cause motion sickness in some people. So whilst it might be a cool and futuristic device, it will need some perfecting before it can just be thrown into battle or used by the general public. Remember, if it isn’t perfected then there will be some idiot who walks down the street with these glasses and then ends up walking into traffic.

News in Briefs 15/04/12

Are you getting tired of all the dithering at the moment? I certainly am. And we all had a lot of dithering this week as the Government continued to make a massive balls-up of the fuel tanker issues. The UN also managed to continue being as pointless as ever as they are now fighting over whether to send a few people down to Syria to oversee the ceasefire. You would have thought that would have always been part of the deal, right?

Political Oops of the Week

For the Political Oops of the Week, it has to be all about the removal of tax relief on charitable donations. If there’s one thing you never do it’s attack anything to do with charity. It doesn’t matter if these measures are right or wrong because the wider population are generally idiots. They won’t listen to reason. All they will see is ‘Government Attacks Charity!’ and nothing more.

But basically these changes mean that wealthy people who donate to charity to obtain tax relief won’t be able to do it anymore. To target the issue itself, if these wealthy people are so committed to charity then why would they have an issue with these changes? Surely if they are so passionate about giving then they will continue to give anyway?

It’s not as if they don’t have the money to do this. Personally, I believe that many wealthy people who donate to charity are just doing it to avoid tax. And clearly the BBC does too because the article that outlines these changes has a link to the article ‘Most Common Tax Avoidance Schemes’ right next to it.

The Painful…

Sometimes the most painful feeling in the world is the feeling of failure. North Korea’s rocket, which outraged people all around the world, was the embodiment of failure this week as it failed spectacularly.

Originally, North Korea’s rocket was supposed to demonstrate the country’s “mastery over technology”. Well all I have to say is that it certainly didn’t manage to demonstrate any mastery over anything after that humiliation. In short, the rocket launched, it then flew in the air for a few minutes, and then it broke apart and fell into the sea.

Explosion
Over-exaggeration of North Korea's rocket launch.

As for a modern North Korea, which its leadership enjoys attempting to portray, it hasn’t quite made it yet. If the launch had succeeded then it would have made it to the 1950s where the major Cold War participants were launching objects into the atmosphere.

But since it failed it is still stuck in the 1940s because that’s when Nazi Germany was planning to create and to an extent succeeded in creating rockets that could fly higher than a plane and be used as a weapon.

Still, keep trying, you’ll do it one day.

…And the Pointless

The Grand National was run on the 14th of April 2012. I hope you managed to win some money – I certainly didn’t – but the main point here is that two horses died. One was the favourite Synchronised and the other was According to Pete. Both horses had fractured legs and had to be put down (shot).

But just like we get every year, we had animal rights groups complaining and moaning that the race should be banned. The reason why this story deserves to be put in this position is that we deal with this same trash every year. This year the leaders are the group called Animal Aid.

The Grand National is dangerous, that’s a fact you just can’t get over, however that’s part of the attraction of the Grand National. You could lower the height of the fences and the drops, like they did in 2011, but then what would be the point in even running the race anymore? Most of the millions it brings in every year are there because the race is dangerous.

Are we going to do away with a race that has been run since the 19th century because a horse or two dies every year? This is nothing but a modern obsession with banning everything that has even the slightest risk associated with it. Fabrice Muamba almost died on the football pitch, and Serie B player Piermario Morosini did die on the football pitch this week, so should we ban football because it has a risk of causing heart defects to flare up? Of course we shouldn’t.

It’s sickening that these people, most of whom only watch racing once a year, have the audacity to say that part of this sport should be banned when they really have no place in it. I’m going to take some inspiration from trainer Paul Nicholls by telling detractors to “Grow up!”

The so Outrageous that it’s Borderline Hilarious

President Obama has been on holiday this week. Instead of going to a traditional holiday hotspot he decided to partake in some relationship building with Latin America. Did this go well? As well it could possibly go considering the circumstances.

The agency that protects President Obama had a red face this week as 11 of its agents were suspended for allegedly breaking the rules and forsaking their duties. What did they do, you ask? Well first of all they broke their curfew, but that doesn’t warrant a suspension. What did, though, was them bringing women back to their hotel rooms.

Is there anything wrong with an agent letting off some steam at night, though? Of course not; it’s a stressful job, but all 11 women were supposedly prostitutes. And therein sits the problem.

Cheating
Symbolic of how eleven wives will react when they get home.

The reason they know that they were most likely prostitutes was because the hotel staff caught an agent and a woman arguing over whether he should pay her or not. Now, in my experience, that’s how you tell if someone has been caught with a prostitute.

A Positive Outlook for the Week

Normally, I would tell you how I’m looking forward to the great sports action next week, but I understand that sport is not everybody’s cup of tea (or coffee). But apart from that I’m struggling with this section because there’s not a whole lot going on at the moment.

I mean, politics is pretty boring at the moment because all that looks to be going on is the London Mayor hype. But that’s where it could be a blessing in disguise because when you look at all the interesting things that happen, they rarely come about on the crest of a wave. They usually charge out of the briny deep like an iceberg; it’s the 100th anniversary of the Titanic sinking so I had to have something in there.

So maybe next week won’t be so bleak and irritating after all…

Bzzt…Disinfecting the World with a Flashlight

Disinfecting people and surgical tools has always been quite a difficult thing to get right because bacteria are everywhere. Outside of a hospital it can even be harder, but now we may have found the answer in the form of a flashlight.

Continue reading Bzzt…Disinfecting the World with a Flashlight

News in Briefs 08/04/12

Well last week was obviously a case of much ado about nothing as all the panic and fear has just collapsed into irrelevance. I can guarantee that all of those people who looked around for hours for fuel are now feeling like absolute fools. But, still, there’s nothing you can do when total idiots and panic come together, is there? Anyway, on to this week’s news!

Political Oops of the Week

Continue reading News in Briefs 08/04/12