EdwardBrereton

The 5 Wackiest Alarm Clocks

It’s a dull, grey Monday morning; you’re due in work extra early for some ungodly reason, and before you fell asleep the night before you begrudgingly set your alarm, praying that it would successfully rouse you from your slumber. When it does finally go off, it’s unreasonably harsh and shrill. You blindly poke about, wishing to silence its incessant ring, and then, it’s all up to you. Do you have the discipline to get up and out of bed? Do you really feel in the right frame of mind?

Well, what if there was a clock which was specifically designed to get you up out of bed? I’m not talking about any old FM Tuner Radio Alarm Clock that can be found in John Lewis for a tenner, I’m talking about something that plays on your whimsical side, something designed to get you out of bed, entertain you, maybe even allow you to wake up naturally, rather than abruptly shaking you from that rather pleasant dream you were having.

Even better, what if I gave you 5 of them?:

The Flying Alarm Clock

It does exactly what it says on the tin; this alarm clock comes equipped with a mini propeller on top of the main hub. When the alarm goes, it will, as always, wake you up with its dull ring, but this time, it sends off the propeller flying into the air, and the only way to cease its howling is to pluck the propeller and stick it back in its rightful place.

This can be annoying, and may not do wonders for your mood, but it is designed specifically to get you out of bed, ensuring that you don’t hit snooze and drift off again, as we’ve all done from time to time.

The Sonic Bomb

This one is a monster; it consists of a double-feature: the clock coming with a vibration pad which is placed under the pillows and acts as a sort of practical insurance policy. There will be no problem getting up with this super-loud alarm piercing the silence each morning (you are, of course, able to tone down the volume to your preference), and literally shaking you awake. Seriously, the maximum volume is 113db, which is louder than a chainsaw. So, this should be taken as a note of caution to all potential buyers.

This product is perfect for those who care only about being roused efficiently in the morning, but if you’d rather get up in a better, lighter mood, read on…

The iPod Alarm Clock

There are quite a few of these on the market. It makes viable sense to attach your iPod to your alarm clock and have it play you awake. After some research, I would recommend anything made by the Phillips brand, as they seem to be highly popular with customers and are invigorated through many different, fun designs. In particular, the DC190B model caught my attention. It allows the user to fiddle with different alarm times for weekdays and weekends, which is a plus in my opinion, and it lets you fling your iPod/iPhone on to the attachment, slotting in perfectly, and allows you to wake up to your favourite tunes. An FM/AM radio tuner is built-in as well, and you have all the power you need.

Ideal for those looking to wake up to something a bit different rather than a monotonous ringing, and giving each morning an extra spice.

The Natural Light

This ‘alarm’ clock is perhaps one of my more unique discoveries. The idea behind it is scientifically proven and accurate, but may not be ideal for those who are adamant about when they get up. Another Phillips product, this clock works by turning itself on 30mins before your desired alarm setting, slowly increasing the amount of light it emits, so, akin to the sun shining into your room, by the time your selected alarm time comes around, you will find yourself gently roused by the natural light produced.

Additionally, you can use it as a bedside lamp for a spot of light reading, and it comes equipped with a few select easy-listening sounds, such as early morning birds, or the silky smooth sway of the ocean’s waves for those wishing to be somewhere else.

Clocky

‘Clocky’ draws many a resemblance to our flying friend above in that the user must leap out of bed and catch something in order to retain the peace and quiet of the morning. I included it because, quite frankly, it amused me to no end.

The method behind this playful device is that you get one chance to wake up, and if you choose to neglect that opportunity and slam your hand down on the snooze button, ‘Clocky’ sets off. It rolls down your night-stand, and, able to roll on both wood and carpet, it spins this way and that, emitting the usual shrill drone, whilst you’re treated to an early morning work-out as you scuttle around behind it. By then, you’ll be fully awake and prepared for your morning shower and coffee. ‘Clocky’ is small, an ideal fit for your bedside table, and good for travel. A good idea for students in particular.

5 great gift ideas for anyone looking to pack a whimsical punch. There are many sublime models out there, and searching for the mentioned products will definitely lead you to other sites and links, but these 5 are the best I found.

The Oscars – Playing it safe?

At the end of another ‘successful’ Oscar evening, the awards season came to a glorious close (not including the much maligned Razzie Awards) and as LAX was swamped with photographers trying to get a coveted snap of the A-listers as they made their way home after a gruelling couple of months, Hollywood was back to business as normal.

It was great to see Billy Crystal return to host his ninth Academy Awards ceremony, particularly after the inexplicably poor showing of Anne Hathaway and James Franco last year, and though it was safe and predictable, it was good fun, everyone seemed to be in spirited moods, and there was nothing particularly controversial to note; all in all, the ceremony seemed to run just as expected – and perhaps there lies the problem.

Personally, I can’t begrudge The Artist and Hugo walking away with 5 awards apiece, as I believe they were fully deserving for the most part. Yes, both had received an insane amount of hype in the build up, and had collected the prestigious gongs at earlier awards shows such as the Golden Globes and the BAFTAs, and no one really expected any other winners in the Best Picture category. Both films depicted a certain nostalgia for a golden era of Hollywood, and a severe love for the movie world. One thing these ceremonies do well is how they drill us all with the fact that we’re here to celebrate film, and that film is a wonderfully magic invention which we would be nowhere without. That’s great an’ all, but then the problem starts to arise; how much longer can they get away with that?

We understand that film is magical, and that it’s a huge part of many peoples’ lives, but they won’t improve their dwindling ratings by showcasing this year in year out, and this was clearly in the back of their minds, prompting a rather lame Cirque Du Soleil skit halfway through Sunday’s main event. I’m sure it’s beautiful and stunning to watch in its entirety, but I didn’t see its strained relevancy to the movies – it seems Hollywood may have run out of ideas.

The winners themselves were nothing out of the ordinary; I myself predicted 9/10 of the ‘bigger’ awards – my 100% record tarnished by the one pleasant surprise of the evening landing in the form of Woody Allen’s Best Original Screenplay triumph for Midnight In Paris – and even Meryl Streep, winning her 3^rd Oscar, seemed to recognise this apparent ignorance of newer quality in her acceptance speech by announcing that she could hear the cacophony of sighs as she picked up the gong again. I know she’s gone a ridiculously long time without winning an Oscar, but I do believe these awards should be used to promote the rising talent in Hollywood, rather than ‘making up’ for lost years (no disrespect to Streep, a wonderful actress).

Then we come to the movies actually nominated for the bigger awards. This ‘phenomenon’ has become known as ‘Oscar-bait’ over the years and can usually indicate what movies are ripe for nomination. I myself don’t usually get that invested in this type of speech, as I feel the last 10 years have featured a vast range of movie winners from The Hurt Locker to The King’s Speech and No Country For Old Men to The Lord Of The Ring trilogy. However this year seemed to be plugging away at that stereotype, and truly baffled with some of its picks (Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, War Horse) whilst films like hyper-stylized and violent Drive were snubbed completely for safer options.

Montage after montage, forced celebrity skit after skit, teary-eyed monologue after monologue, the 84^th Academy Awards was no stretch of the imagination. Hollywood seemed to have given up trying to put on a show which really captivated their audience, but stuck with the old and safe route. The ‘if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it’ rule may be applied in this situation, but what good is it really doing for Hollywood’s reputation? Is the continued celebration of films that depict a past era really doing anything but reminding us that the best days are behind it? The continued stance against Sci-Fi and Action films could possibly be tested next year following the release of high-profile films such as Chris Nolan’s The Dark Knight Rises, Joss Whedon’s The Avengers, and Ridley Scott’s Prometheus. When you think of each title, you will immediately dismiss its Oscar chances, but ask yourself ‘Why?’ Why couldn’t The Avengers win a Best Picture award, or at least get a nod? Joss Whedon is a talented director, who has a knack for writing good, intriguing stories and characters, so will the film be any better or worse than The Artist?

It doesn’t matter now, of course, and we shall see in due time what happens; however, I believe the Academy needs to start considering a larger range of movies to keep the current trends in cinema popular. The population of the Academy voters is primarily made up of elderly white men, which has led to a few accusations of prejudice being thrown around. The snub of The Social Network and David Fincher last year may highlight this as well; The King’s Speech was a safe option, and I don’t think anyone was too surprised to see it go home as the winner, whilst the slightly superior and modern tale of Facebook, which resonated deeply in today’s society, was overlooked.

Whilst the future of cinema remains as exciting as ever and the Academy Award can still promote a sense of heightened excitement in film buffs worldwide, it is, however, becoming more and more alienating to those who wish to be entertained. People don’t want to see one film, or one actor, miles ahead of the rest. They want to know that this, the most prestigious film award in the world, can go to any one of the five nominees, and that it’ll be as big a shock to them as it will be to those in the theatre. Where it will begin, I don’t know, but for now some serious thinking will be going on behind those golden doors, and hopefully next year, we’ll all be in for some rather delayed entertainment and surprise.

Film Review: “Carnage”

Carnage is perhaps a hyperbole. The implied connotations may give you different expectations of this movie, and not all of them will be met. It’s remarkable how so much damage can be inflicted through mere words, and this film explores that, accompanied by a quartet of bitingly sharp performances from its leads.

Though the movie takes place in a Manhattan apartment, it was in actual fact filmed in Paris, due to Roman Polanski’s inability to step foot in the USA. This has never prevented him from working with the best actors available, and making some of the greatest films of the last 50 years. Though his magnum opus remains Chinatown, made almost 40 years ago now, his work is as relevant today as it was back then.

The movie is a screen adaptation of Yasmina Reza’s play ‘God Of Carnage’. This is evident in the way Polanksi has bizarrely made use of space and time. With the exception of the opening and closing credits, the movie doesn’t stray from the apartment of Mr and Mrs Longstreet (John C. Reilly and Jodie Foster). Reluctantly joining them is upper-class couple, Mr and Mrs Cowan (Christophe Waltz and Kate Winslet). The reason for their occupying the same space is their children. Zachary, belonging to the Cowan’s, has smashed Ethan, belong to the Longstreet’s, around the face with a stick. The conversation flows politely in its early exchanges, a brief moment of silence here and there, or whenever Alan (Waltz) is ‘forced’ to remove himself and answer his incessantly-ringing cellphone.

The power here is how it develops. We open with a shady state of equilibrium; a state that has to smoothly cross into the realms of the eponymous carnage. This is orchestrated with masterful work from Polanski, giving his actors just that little bit extra to work with, deftly timing each event that takes place to occur precisely when it needs to. The running time of the movie is just over an hour, as is the on-screen narrative.

It’s a character study of considerable depth; at first, each of them displays signs of accustomed social conventions. Nancy (Winslet) feels inclined to enquire about the apartment she finds herself in, as well as the different displays of culture which Penelope (Foster) has laid out, primarily on her luxurious coffee table. Alan and Michael (C. Reilly) discuss their jobs, picking apart each other’s livelihood through polite, yet slightly strained dialogue, which is to lead someplace darker.

Bit by bit, shot by shot, Polanksi manipulates happenings to his will, sparks begin to fly, and tempers begin to flare. Put together by their children’s childish behaviour, the four parents exhibit their own infantine dispositions by hurling verbal put-downs at each other. They belittle, they snarl, they vomit, they drink, they scoff, they drink more, they sob, they turn on their own spouses, they drink even more, they smoke. It doesn’t ever reach what I would call ‘carnage’, but it certainly inhabits a space nearby.

As you’d expect, the script is solid enough to keep an audience satisfied for 70minutes, but the four actors, Winslet and Foster in particular, exude unmatched ability in being able to distort themselves over and over again, finely treading, but never crossing, the line between radical depiction and parody. They are all cynics, expecting next to nothing from their opponents; they won’t budge on their opinions, and a considerable amount of care is put into the way they act within the different circumstances Polanksi throws their way. It’s a refreshingly honest piece of work, but not funny enough to be considered comedy. It’s a movie worth watching, but don’t expect to be enlightened, amused, or entertained. This is a movie about character; it’s peculiar and comes off with an odd taste, but it’s impeccably acted, and masterfully directed.